Keeping Adoption Secret

A young woman sits with a hot drink and her feet up, watching out of the window from the comfort of her own home. She is taking a break from her chores and busy day to day routine to gaze into her garden and wonder.

In an ideal situation, the people in your life would be supportive and helpful in your decision to place your child for adoption. But that’s not always the case.

Michael Belfonte and his partners at American Adoptions have experience working with pregnant women considering adoption who feel that keeping their adoption a secret is the only option available to them.

While Michael and American Adoptions encourage you to try to find a way to make adoption work without having to try to hide your pregnancy and/or adoption, sometimes a secret adoption is the best way to keep you safe throughout your pregnancy.

If you feel that you could be in real danger if someone in your life finds out about your pregnancy or adoption decision, you should call 1-800-ADOPTION immediately; an adoption specialist can help you find the resources you need to remove yourself from an abusive situation.

Some women choose adoption for their baby because they don’t want their child to grow up in an abusive environment, and the safety in a confidential adoption is the only way they can achieve that.

Closed or Confidential Adoption: Are They The Same Thing?

Generally, a “closed adoption” is a situation in which the adoptive family and adopted child have very little information about you until the child turns 18 and can access his or her original birth certificate with your name on it. Michael doesn’t usually recommend closed adoptions because they can be for everyone involved in the adoption — especially the adopted child.

Open adoptions are now the standard for adoption in the U.S. This allows you to keep an open line of communication with your child and the adoptive family and have whatever amount of contact you feel comfortable with.

A “confidential adoption” helps the birth mother keep her adoption a secret from certain people in her life, if necessary. It’s difficult to hide a pregnancy entirely, but an adoption specialist can advise you on how to have a secret adoption when appropriate for safety reasons.

Keeping Adoption a Secret is Possible

While a confidential adoption isn’t ideal or recommended, sometimes it’s the only way for a pregnant woman to feel safe until her baby is adopted. If that’s the case, then Michael and American Adoptions can help.

Please contact Michael if you have questions about the legal requirements in a confidential adoption, or call 1-800-ADOPTION to speak to an American Adoptions specialist about your current situation and to learn if a secret adoption is possible for you.